You seem to have come across some kind of stand. As you approach it, the smells of smoke, chemicals, and a faint citrus scent meet your nose. Actually, the "stand" looks more like a cardboard box. Behind the box is an orange slime robo in some kind of wizard hat, and next to them is some weird purple creature. On the counter lie a bunch of doodads and ingredients. The purple thing seems to get excited as you approach, and the slime robo half-heartedly waves when they notice you. They look a little sleepy.

"*yawn*... Welcome to Maple's Genetically Engineered Critter Corner. Genes spilced while you wait. ...That's the slogan..."

"I'm Maple, if you couldn't tell, and that boil-ridden thing next to me is my assistant, Gibbie. He's not for sale... yet."

"This is an essence an adoption agency for the wack little mites I've produced. Making little pokemon-things is a bit of a hobby of mine, though I'm also doing it for my genetics major, heh. Some of them I made for the purpose of giving them to others, others were school projects that are... *sigh*, a bit too alive, and I'm really not in a position to be responsible for the well-being of other living beings. So I'm giving them away, too!"

"Since we're doing this online, these are basically going to work like those web adoptables from 1999 or whatever; if you're a neocities pick the one you like, then leave a comment on EL's profile so I know you claimed them. Then put the critter on your site. If you don't have a neocities site but would still like to claim a critter, you can claim via messaging EL's twitter."

"Anyway, that's the gist of it. Go and have a look. Oh, and until further notice, one per customer please. Also, if you see EL anywhere tell him he still owes me those 30 bucks I loaned him. *yawn*... pleasejusttakethemoutofmyhands..."


Experiments up for adoption:

Critter Name Description
Bananworm Berk and Friend Berk's one of those worms that require a living host to survive. EL didn't want her to hurt any innocent people or animals, so he asked me to make her a sustainable body. I normally don't do commissions, but at Gibbie's insistence I decided to honor his request. That's how Friend *yawn* came into existence. Now Berk is free to live in Friend's head hole and the two can go wherever they please... with a legal guardian, that is. Berk and Friend don't really need to eat thanks to their whole symbiotic relationship thing, but they do get dirty a lot, so if I were you I'd set aside time each day to clean the head hole.
Screwball For fun, I tried to see what would happen if I spliced the genes of an already-spliced creature with a biological animal. Gibbie, probably my most stable experiment yet, generously sacrificed one of his boils to help me test my hypothesis. So I used some genetic magic to splice it with bear DNA; the result didn't look at all like Gibbie, until I screwed off the cap. I'm not exactly sure how I achieved the cap, actually, but that's why I named them Screwball. Screwball, possibly due to the personality of its donor, is very eager to help a person out. They may only have two stapled-on bug legs, but they are always willing to assist (even if their actual skill is lacking). They're also planning to save for college for a doctorate(?). *sigh* Please adopt them and help them fulfil their... dreams.

Claimed critters:

Critter Name Description Claimed By:
Biffo Biffo's probably one of my least weird creations, compared to the other ones I've made, heh. I synthesized her from bird and mole genes using my Morpho Jr. Genetic Synthesis Machine and Kit, and the finished project ended up looking like some rad plauge doctor thing. She's *yawn* pretty easy to take care of, though what you should know is that she lives off kale and only kale. She requires a pound per day, too. I'm mostly putting up for adoption because I really can't afford to buy so much kale every week. blue-fox
Rollie Rollie is both the thing I made for my robotics final, and the main reason I failed robotics. They were intended to act as a hospital assistant and help streamline the process of producing vaccines and antibiotics, but I didn't finish in time cause I was too busy fleshing out their neural network. All they can really do now, medical-wise, is give people the common cold when touched. *sigh* Ah well, robotics was never my thing. Anyway, Rollie can be yours if you want. If you take them be sure to wear gloves when they're nearby, and remember to oil their wheel once an evening. bluef00t
Zilbert EL came over to my stand earlier and said he wanted to try my Morpho Jr. Against my better judgement I decided to let him give it a go, but before I could finish explaining to him how it works, he just stuffed a bunch of DNA samples in it and pressed go. As if that wasn't enough, lightning improbably struck the darn thing while it was synthesizing. *sigh* The good news is, what came actually looked pretty neat. A little lightning snake thing with a big tail-arm? I dig that. However, now the thing's vibrating uncontrollably and doing circles around my stand at 200mph. Letting EL take him would probably cause even more problems, so with his permission *yawn* I'm putting Zilbert up for adoption. EL still hasn't paid me back, by the way. pleurodelinae
Goob This one is some weird zombie I put together of slug DNA, ghost essence, some random chemicals, and Green felt. I mainly made it because I had way too much green felt lying around, honestly. As with many of my experiments, something went horribly wrong along the way, and it ended up with eyeballs that break peoples' mind if they make contact. I had to cover it with another rag (and draw a ghost face on it for laughs). This thing never moves when I'm awake, but every morning it's in a different spot, like those shelf elf things. *yawn*... Creeps even me out. I might just pay you to take it. lividdreams
Poppy With this one, instead of using synthesis science, I mostly frankenstiend a bunch of different parts together with my staple gun and willed the end product to life with dark magic. *yawn* Poppy is good for entry-level critter owners, as he requires just a small amount of food, water, and fresh air per day. The only problemo is that his sapience levels are a bit high, making his legality as a pet a bit... questionable. He's also a bit of a philosopher, constantly asking me all sorts of existential questions that are way out of my leauge. I mean, I'm a fourth-year college student and I have no clue what he's talking about half the time. scenequeen
Mr. Pumpkin-Body I whipped this cool dude up just yesterday. His name was supposed to be Mr. Pumpkinhead, but once again I kinda screwed up. Well, *sigh* Gibbie screwed it up. I mean, I told him the hammer was supposed to be the body, not the head, and-- damn, I shouldve named him Hammerhead. Whatever. Actually, his body's not even a pumpkin, it's a bunch of sewn-together orange peels. Anyway, Mr. PB is a bit of an clingy one, as he wraps his arms around anything that looks like a leg. Whether he does this out of affection or defense, I don't know, but he can be yours for the low price of zip. disc-content
Keekee This one was honestly a bit of a dissapointment. I mean, you'd think a critter sythesized from a blood strain swiped from a literal fear research laboratory would produce a more interesting result than a marshmallow-thing with legs. *sigh* I guess they're kinda cute, in that simple kinda way, and as far as I know they're pretty sedate. james
Jimbles Okay, I don't even remember how I ended up making this one. I think I was trying to reverse-engineer a species from a fossil, Jurrassic Park-style. Or maybe I was trying to make a specimen that floats? That may explain the balloon arm... is balloon DNA a thing? I don't even know. However it happened, Jimbles is here now and I really can't waste any more college grant money taking care of these damn things. Is this sort of thing even legal? I dunno. I just feel like this genetics hobby sometimes feels more like a chore than a-- what, Jimbles? Oh, right. Jimbles will be your best friend forever and be sure to keep their arm filled with helium yadda yadda yadda. *yawn* I need a nap. Ash

No thanks, take me back to EL's site.